The journey of life

Being here is something really incredible. I don’t know how else to say it.

Certainly there are things I miss in the United States–my family, my cat, and a few things I’ve built myself.

Jesse and I talked a lot last night, and I think one of the reasons I’m so reluctant to go back to the United States is because there’s nothing there for me. I have no friends at all–I know a few people around Oakland University, but we’ve never done anything outside class. I have only minor work. I don’t own very much. The only connection I have to my life back “home” is my family.

But I really don’t feel like that’s enough. Family is certainly important, but at 22 I don’t feel as bound to it as I used to. Aside from my parents and brother, I only see everyone else once a year unless there are funerals–even weddings don’t bring everyone together.

I know a lot of people on this trip have become homesick, but I haven’t at all. It’s not because I don’t care about people at home, it’s just there’s nothing there.

It seems similar, when I talked to Jesse, to the situation Darren was in when he came to China two years ago. He was also on this same study abroad program, and when it ended, he never went home.

I think when you have no life and no obligations and nothing at all to tie you to where you live; it’s easy to find something thousands of miles away from where you’re from.

And I’ve certainly found something.

The people in this country are among the nicest I’ve ever met. They’re warm, friendly, informed and they can talk about more than the last music video they saw, video games, or the episode of [insert show here] that aired last night.

Walking the city by day and night, and taking a walk through RiTan or YueTan, I can find a kind of calm I’ve only briefly glimpsed of in the United States. It’s not something I want to give up.

On one hand, I don’t like to be so far away from my family. But on the other, being here, I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time, and have more in my life than I’ve had in a long time.

I don’t think I want to stay here forever–I need to see more of the world. But right now, this is enough. It’s like that one magical night of your life when you feel like anything could happen, and you don’t want day to break and end it. With only three weeks left in my current situation, I feel like I’m running backwards against time to keep the night going on forever.

I hope I can find work here to support me the rest of the summer, because three more weeks is not enough time.

Saturday I spent the day going all over Beijing with 晨鹭 and her friend 悦. They and their families were just some of the most open and friendly people I’ve ever met. Even though we had difficulty communicating sometimes, they made me feel so welcome.

Her friend told me something that really made me think, that maybe words aren’t the most important thing in communication. Three years of a print journalism background would make me think otherwise, but somehow, it makes sense.

Maybe to some people, this seems trivial or something they already understand, but I feel like I had to go 8,000 miles to find something I could never find at home.

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